Movie Review: The Sweetest Thing
I have been grappling with “The Sweetest Thing” since I saw it in theaters in 2002.
I like Cameron Diaz, I like Christina Applegate, I like Selma Blair, so it was hard for me to hate the film as much as I did. But I did—walking out of the theater, I felt robbed of my time and money, I wanted those 84 minutes of my life back. It was just as hard for me to watch it again, after I vowed I never would, and want so much for it to be a better experience, knowing that I’d have to write this review for you Bateman fans. After having watched it again, I have good news and bad news.
Let’s do the bad news first, shall we? This movie is still awful—with the never-before-seen-footage included on the unrated DVD, it may be even worse than when I caught it during its theatrical release. Cameron Diaz plays Christina Walters, a self professed “player” who doesn’t have time for traditional relationships. Her best friend Courtney(Christina Applegate) shares this philosophy, but her other best friend, Jane
(Selma Blair) doesn’t—she’s been dumped and is devastated. To cheer her up, Christina and Courtney take her to a club, at which point Christina meets Peter Donahue (Thomas Jane), talks to him for about 35 seconds(which is apparently more than enough time to convince Christina to trash her entire dating philosophy), and proceeds to chase him for the remainder of the film. During their brief encounter at the club, Peter’s brother, Roger(an adorably bearded Jason Bateman), tells Christina that he’s getting married on Saturday in Somerset, and that Peter’s in the wedding. Armed with this information, Christina and Courtney embark on a road trip to find Peter at his brother’s wedding, leaving Jane at home to engage in random, lewd sexual misadventures that have absolutely nothing to do with the non-existent plot. But, it’s not the lack of plot that makes this film so bad—it’s the disgusting, incessant gags that have no purpose besides being disgusting and incessant. I have a sense of humor, I really do—I also don’t need my comedy to always be intelligent, a little bathroom humor never hurt anyone. I think I understand what writer Nancy Pimental was trying to do with “The Sweetest Thing”—she was trying to show that women can be just as gross as men, that women can like sex just as much as men, that women are not the submissive, doting saps that are the subject of most romantic comedies—women can and should have their own “There’s Something About Mary.” But even the lewd humor in “There’s Something About Mary” was embedded in some sort of plot, there was some sort of buildup to explain why these things were happening.
I mean, the gags in “The Sweetest Thing” often come out of nowhere, with no warning whatsoever, with no purpose whatsoever—and even when they do have some sort of contrived purpose, they’re so overdone that whatever humor could have been squeezed out of the joke has been beaten to death. Case in point: the three women are having lunch discussing what to say to men about penis size. They discuss it for some time, the point’s gotten across, it’s funny, and then they burst into song. A real song, with music and dancing, and lyrics like “My body is a movie and your penis is the star.”(I don’t think this was in the theatrical version—a prime example of the movie’s getting even worse through the DVD release). Even THIS might have been mildly amusing if it hadn’t gone on forever. This is the problem with “The Sweetest Thing”—not the acting(the whole cast really does the best they can with this script, and you can tell they’re having fun and like each other, which lessens the pain a bit), not the directing, but the overindulged, ridiculous nonsense that occurs without warning and never stops.
So, the good news (and there is good news, if you can believe it) is that Jason Bateman shines in this film. He is hilariously funny, stealing every single scene that he’s in. In a film like this, it’s no small feat to not only avoid looking as ridiculous as everybody else, but to be really, really good—and Jason does it. He does it so well that I started breathing a sigh of relief whenever he appeared onscreen, knowing that this scene was going to be okay, that there would be a reprieve from the horrible drivel, that I would even be able to laugh. As a matter of fact, Jason is so fantastically funny in “The Sweetest Thing” that, if you’re a fan, it’s worth owning. If you’ve read anything I’ve written so far concerning what I think of this film, you understand that this is high praise. I may consider this film one of the worst that I’ve ever seen, but I now own it—Jason Bateman is that good. If you need more reassurance, I’ll say that he sings Eternal Flame at the wedding reception—you heard me, he sings Eternal Flame. The entire version is included over the end credits, and it’s ridiculously funny. Jason’s performance in this film is fun because he’s not playing the straight man—it’s a different kind of humor than what we get from Michael Bluth. However, Jason, as opposed to his castmates and the writers, doesn’t overdo it, and that’s what makes his performance stand out in this film; he doesn’t make it look like he’s trying. There’s also an audio commentary on the unrated version--switching it on over the movie makes it a whole lot more enjoyable, because Jason’s hilarious there as well(and it drowns out the stupidity). There’s one point where Cameron Diaz makes some sort of comment like “Why is this movie so fucking funny whenever Jason Bateman is in it?” And it’s true—it’s just a shame that it pretty much isn’t funny at any other point. Of course, it goes without saying that this is all just my opinion.
I have a friend (whose opinion I really respect) that thinks this film is outrageously funny. However, I have another friend( a film maker whose opinion I respect equally) that bought the film thinking it was so bad that she needed to show other people. At any rate, watching this film breeds an even greater respect for the talents of Jason Bateman, who manages to be so funny while the rest of his A-List co-stars flounder. - Sarah Farkas