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Arrested Development Season 2: Sad Sack

"Sad Sack" starts out on a Monday morning with Michael making scrambled eggs (George Sr. in the attic), while discussing with his mother Lucille Bluth how he was nervous about meeting with the new prosecutor.   He told his mother he wasn't going to lie anymore, but Michael was lying, keeping the secret that his father was a fugitive up in the attic. Lucille also said that she isn't lying either but being lied on (giving Oscar and loving and seductive look) who's sitting right next to her. Meanwhile Buster had hit a wall in army training, and couldn't get over the wall so asked his Sergeant to call him a homosexual to motivate him but the Sergeant told him they weren't allow to do that anymore, having been sued by a homosexual and his attorney, the very same attorney who now is acting as prosecutor to the Bluth family.  Back at home, while Michael is still trying to whip up a second batch of scrambled eggs, being that the first never made it to George Sr., George Michael enters the room and they talk about his math test, which he got a B- on even though he studied with Ann who's a math genius.  Michael thinks his son may need glasses, not because he got a B- on his math test, but because he thinks Ann is cute and wishes he could draw her nose. Tobias enters the kitchen as Michael is on his way out with the eggs for George Sr., and tells Michael he'll have to take the eggs with him because he is late for the gym.  Tobias then tells Michael that his cellular phone is a lemon - to which Lindsay enters and mutters something...She has quite a hoarse voice from frequenting the single bars, and goes into discussion about her and Tobias' experimental marriage with Michael who says it's not a competition and she should be spending more time with her daughter, Maeby - who at this point answers the door because she's been ordering unnecessary items just so she can see Steve Holt the senior in her school who she has a crush on - but Lindsay interrupts, noticing Steve at the door and gets flattered when he thinks that she is Maeby's sister.  Maeby annoyed at her mother's flirtatious escapade, closes the door on Steve and hands her mother the gift basket, who then hands it to Michael - who without question then brings it up to the attic for his father - who he finds dressed in his dead wife's maternity clothes. Michael and George Sr. proceed to talk about the prosecutor, building in Iraq, his mother's affair with his brother Oscar - to which George Sr. says the only reason he is sticking around is to find out if she's really in love with him or if he still has a shot with her and asks Michael to find out.  Later that day, George Michael finds his eye exam to be just as difficult as his math exam as he can't make a decision on which lenses is better.  And then Michael meets the prosecutor and says he doesn't understand how it wasn't a conflict of interest since he did almost represent them, to which the prosecutor replies, "the Patriot Act. Read it". Michael tells the prosecutor that he's not the president anymore, his brother Gob is, to which the prosecution tells him that they already interviewed Gob who appeared to know nothing - less then anyone they've ever met before, although Gob knew too little to know that.  Back in the boardroom the prosecutor hints to Michael that if he know's something - like where his father is hiding - he can get him off the case. Barry Zuckerkorn who doesn't follow tries to get Michael to high five him (right in front of the prosecutor) if he knows where his father is as Michael shakes his head. Meanwhile, Buster was sharing his failure with someone who was well versed on the subject (Tobias) - who tells him he needs someone who can motivate him. And then it hits him - just as Gob, a good motivater, enters the room and hits Buster on the back of the head - Buster flashes back to 1986 - Overcoming fear of slide, as Gob yells and and taunts him and then punches him in the chest as he overcomes his fear down the slide - and tells him it'll be a lot more fun when he's not getting punched. So Buster asks Gob if he can go to the old playground with him and Gob agrees since he's never going back to work again after being tormented by the prosecutors - to which Tobias takes the per chanced opportunity to borrow his cellular phone - to which Gob agrees since if he's not fit to run the company he doesn't need a fancy phone - to which Tobias says that the Blue Man Group might call him and he deserves a fancy phone - but they didn't and he doesn't. Later that day, Michael who couldn't let his father get away, goes to his mother's and asks her point blank if she's in love with Oscar or if she's just using him to get back at his father. Lucille admits that it started out that way but she has fallen in love with Oscar, who is sickened to death by her affection for him. Michael convinces Oscar to run, since it's not really his scene - the sweaters, the furniture.  Meanwhile Tobias is attempting to learn how to use his new cellular phone in the bath and Lindsay is attempting to spend more time with Maeby by dropping by on her and Steve Holt at school. Maeby upset by her mother's constant flirting with Steve, tells him that she's really her dad. Back in the boardroom, the prosecutor shows Michael photographs taken from the company's email of the Iraqi countryside with bunkers that  George Sr. built to hide WMD's. Now with evidence on hand, the prosecution wants Michael to turn in his father so that he would have immunity.  Michael returns home to confront his father but runs into Lindsay who told him that their mother wouldn't shut up about finding love where you least expect it and said tingling like a hundred times. Michael speculates that George Sr. must have overheard their conversation and subsequently doesn't find him in the attic.  Michael calls his mother to ask the stupid question if she's seen Dad at all, to which she answers of course not but Oscar (George Sr. with wig in disguise) has come back to her.  She gets off the phone with Michael and tells Oscar he smells like pine cones but he says it's just the weed he got from his old trailer. She suggests they bring it into the bedroom, to which Oscar replies only if you really love me...now knowing for himself that she's truly gone, George Sr. in disguise as Oscar knocks down her pictures and storms out saying he's on mushrooms, bad mushrooms. Meanwhile, the Iraqi photos have made the rounds and made public through several branches and to the army itself, where Buster and Gob are, and Gob is so outraged at the proof he motivates Buster over the wall and punches him telling him it'll be more fun when he's not getting punched.  Michael back in the attic is surprised to find his father returned with a broken heart. He then decides to the right thing and not turn him in. The prosecutor shows the iraqi pictures to Michael again and Barry Zuckerkorn looks at the photos and says they are looking at balls - belonging to Tobias who accidentally photographed them while taking a bath, which look a lot like landscape close up. And Michael returns home a free man and goes up to tell his dad that he didn't turn him in and George Sr. hugs his son for standing up for him. 

Reasons that make Arrested Development the funniest show on television:

 Michael having to make scrambled eggs for George Sr. who’s hiding up in the attic, like 3 times because they are being stolen by everyone else.
 The pause and look George Michael gives to his fingers when he realizes he’s got blue paint on them from opening up the refrigerator.
 The look on Michael’s face when he says “Is it?” to George Michael when he says Ann is a math expert and isn’t it cute.
 Cut away to Lindsay dancing and screaming her lungs out at a bar embarrassing herself.
 The gift basket that Maeby orders just to see Steve Holt gets handed to Maeby to Lindsay to Michael and all the up the attic to George Sr. in the attic in a manner of seconds.
 Barry Zuckerkorn in the boardroom trying to get Michael to high five him in front of the prosecutors, and then again in the kitchen.
 Barry Zuckerkorn’s ding-dong exploding in the microwave.
 The cut away flashback of Buster getting punched in the chest by Gob at the playground in 1986.
 The fancy phone that Tobias nonchalantly tosses in the air and misses as it lands in the sink.
 The way Gob half-heartedly pushes Buster on the swing and continues swaying his arm back and forth even after Buster starts pushing himself.
 The Final Countdown song playing on Gob’s fancy phone when Tobias is in the tub trying to figure the phone out.
 Maeby giving Lindsay a “Shemale” shirt as a gift and Lindsay saying she’ll wear it to dinner.

Tune in Sunday at 8:30 on Fox for Season Two of Arrested Development.

Quotes from "SAD SACK"